Trying to explain - it may take months…

I used to do a blog. 12 years ago. I didn't know how to do it, but it was a good place to deal with cancer. And it worked. It helped me to recover. And I met the most wonderful people that I loved [and still love] and they love me. We discovered many things about what was trying to kill us; here in the UK and in the US - and we helped one another if we could. I got better - spend time with family...had great jobs [again...]

This time was different. This image is the very last time I was 'ok' before I had a brain subarachnoid haemorrhage / brain aneurysm.

6 years ago I almost died. Again. 

So. What actually happened?

I certainly didn't jump out of bed and start waffling on about my ''crazy couple of months'' by chattering onto my blog. Or to my mates. Because I could not concentrate. On anything.

Because I could not speak properly any more. I could not write any more. I could not READ any more! I could not explain what a coffee cup was, when put into my hand. Or what I would like in my sandwich for lunch; I KNEW but I had no perception of how to ask the correct words. I really thought I was asking politely - but I was speaking like what some people call a 'retard'. Pretty chuckalicious hey? Not.

I didn't know who most of the people that I saw were called. Or who they were. The first thing was when I did not know my FH's name. For me that was neither here nor there. I was many miles away in my battered head. But my FH was shocked. 

It takes a LONG time to come back.

I only know some of what actually happened. Because having the type of 'injury' that I had is not something that you can trundle out of the hospital in a few days. Or a few weeks.

It's not something that the majority of people can 'recover' from easily - my FH was informed that my death was 'right there'.

12 hours before my head was to be operated on, my FH was told to rush to the RD&E hospital, as they were convinced I was at deaths door.

I had lost consciousness that morning - for the first time in my life I had no power to help myself.